For such a long time I thought I would never be a mum. In reality it’s all I’ve really wanted, probably since a very young age. Life never really plays out how you imagine does it? Although some of the decisions I’ve made in life have been questionable, I don’t view any of them as mistakes. Life is too short, it’s a journey and everything you experience, every choice you make, helps form your character. I like those old adages of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and you only ever get sent what you can deal with. So true!
When I look back over some of those questionable decisions and choices, yes, from the serious to the visible black bra straps and spaghetti strap red dress (jeez!) on numerous nights out in my teenage years, I cringe! And then I look at my life now, it couldn’t be better! I have everything I could ever want. No I’m not a millionaire, I’m not a supermodel, I still don’t drive a Maseratti and somewhere along the way I wasn’t clever enough for an Oxbridge PhD! Yes I have a stable, lovely home to call my own, I’ve married the love of my life and after two horrific years of trying to have a baby, I’m writing this post with my six week old son in my arms! If you’ve made some dodgy decisions, or life isn’t so sweet for you right now, I’m living testament to things getting better. Believe me, it won’t always be rubbish for you.
I live with and love my best friend and thanks to him I’m finally a mum! I look at this little tiny person and see everything in his eyes. He is our world, he is full of possibilities, full of future hope. He can be whatever he wants to be, he can go wherever he wants to go. He will always have a loving, supportive home with us. I’ll always do everything I can to make him happy, and ensure he knows he is loved more than anything else in the world. Yes I’m going to be a pushy mum! My son, the brain surgeon, lawyer, architect, Olympic athlete?! Being a mum completes me, it’s what I was born to do. I’m sure when he’s stomping upstairs, yelling that I don’t understand him and slamming his bedroom door, I’ll question if I’m doing the right thing, being the parent he needs. I’m sure we will have our moments! Providing he knows I love him and I support him, I’m doing my best for him.
I love being a mum, I don’t mind the 12am, 3am, 4am and 6am wake up calls! I don’t mind the explosive nappies! Especially as we were rewarded with our first proper smile a few days ago! Even more so now he turns his head when he hears my voice. I can’t wait for every little milestone, every shared experience. There is nothing better in this world than sharing it with my perfect baby!